My own wishes
Your own choices for your arrangements, your service and who should decide, with where your papers are and who has a copy. A record of preferences, not a legal document.
After a death, this sheet is optional on a first pass; come back to it in Your arrangements file. If you are planning ahead for yourself, it is the main result of this manual and is essential.
My wishes
One answer per line (Your arrangements file). Print it, sign and date it, and give copies to the person you want to decide and one other.
How to use these sheets
- Write choices, not instructions to a stranger. Say what you want and do not want, and who should decide what you have not covered.
- Sign and date a printed copy, and give copies to the person you want to decide and one other. A will is often read too late, and a safe deposit box may be closed when the copy is needed.
- Review it every few years and after a move, a marriage or a death in the family.
For Imani Brooks (fictional), the sheet reads: no embalming; natural organic reduction or a green burial; a celebration of life at her community garden; her sister Denise to decide. It is still open whether Denise agrees to act; Imani settles that by asking her.
This sheet records preferences. Whether it binds anyone depends on state law and on signing it the way that state requires; the state's form, the funeral board or an attorney settles that. It is not a will and does not cover health care decisions.