Your arrangements file, and your own wishes
Close out the file so every open item has an owner, export and share it, then write down your own wishes and give them to the people who will need them.
- Start here: the essentials
- 1. Close out the file: an owner and a date for every open item
- 2. Export the file and decide who gets it
- 3. Your own wishes: decide, write down, hand over
- 4. Planning without prepaying: questions to ask first
- 5. Donation, veterans' eligibility, online accounts and review
- 6. See it: Sam closes out, Imani writes hers
- 7. Practice: close out and write your wishes
- 8. Your arrangements
- 9. Check your work
- 10. Knowledge check and scenario
Start here Essentials
At minimum, give every open item in the file an owner and a date, export the file to the people who need it, and write your own wishes on one sheet that at least one other person has. Everything marked Go deeper can wait.
- Give every open item an owner and a date. Go through each sheet; mark estate questions with who answers them (close out the file).
- Export the file and send it. Send it to the coordinator and whoever settles the estate (export and share).
- Write your own choices on the wishes sheet. Arrangement, disposition, service, and who you want to decide (your own wishes).
- Give copies to the person who will decide and one other. Not only in a will or a safe deposit box (hand it over).
- Get your state's agent form, if it has one. Ask the person first (naming who decides).
Minimum time: about 90 minutes: 30 for the close-out, 60 for your wishes. Done when: no open item is without an owner, the file is exported, and your wishes sheet is complete and in at least one other person's hands.
1. Close out the file: an owner and a date for every open item Understand
A file that has been used holds the calls, the decisions, the papers, the prices, the benefits, the service and the notifications. Some rows are finished. Others are waiting: on a form in the mail, on an agency's decision, on a court. Closing out the file means that no row is left waiting without a name beside it. A row with an owner and a date gets done or gets passed on; a row with neither gets forgotten.
K-State's after-death checklist ends with steps that reach past the funeral: contacting the attorney, gathering papers for the accountant, notifying creditors and credit bureaus, and updating your own estate documents (K-State Research and Extension, MF3699, 2024). The close-out is where the funeral file meets that longer work.
Sheet by sheet
Go through the sheets in this order. For each open row, write one of three things: a person and a date; "estate," with the person or office that answers it; or "does not apply," and delete it. Our convention
| Sheet | What still open looks like | Who usually owns it |
|---|---|---|
| Decisions | The ashes, the marker, a second gathering: rows marked "later" or "provisional" | The person with the right to decide (Who decides) |
| Papers | A document not yet found, or one that someone else holds | Whoever is searching; the executor for the will |
| Tasks | Equipment returns, clearing the house, thank-you notes | The helper already named on the row |
| Expenses | A receipt not yet filed, a payment not yet reimbursed | Whoever paid, and whoever settles the estate |
| Statement check | A line on the itemized statement you have asked the funeral home to explain | The person who signed the contract |
| Benefits | A claim applied for but not confirmed, or a deadline still ahead | The person claiming; the agency decides (Paying and benefits) |
| Service | A later gathering, a burial of ashes, an interment date | The coordinator |
| Notifications | Rows waiting on forms, or on legal authority to close an account | The person in the Who column; estate rows to the executor or administrator |
The decisions sheet usually has the longest-lived items. A marker can wait months while the family agrees on wording; ashes can wait until a place is chosen and its rules checked (Burial, cremation and other choices). Give those rows a date to talk again, not a deadline to finish.
Receipts and the statement go with the file
K-State's guide on decisions after a death suggests appointing someone to keep a record of the activities and the related expenses (K-State Research and Extension, MF3122, 2014). The expense log from Sharing the work is that record. Keep the paper receipts, the General Price Lists and the signed itemized statement in one envelope or folder with the printed file. Whoever settles the estate may need them to see who paid what; how the estate treats those payments is a question for the executor and, if there is one, the attorney. Ask the authority
What goes to the person who settles the estate
If someone other than you will serve as executor or administrator, hand them: the notifications log with the estate rows marked; the expense log with receipts; the papers sheet, which says where each document is; and the benefits sheet. The file records what you did and what others told you. It does not give that person authority, and it does not answer the estate questions After the service handed on (After the service).
2. Export the file and decide who gets it
The arrangements file lives in this browser on this device. Nothing leaves this device unless you export the file or copy a share link. Browser storage is convenient and fragile: it is cleared with the site's data, is empty in a private window, and is not shared between browsers or devices. Export a copy once the close-out is done, and again whenever you change something you would hate to lose.
What the export contains
The export button on the arrangements file page saves one file (JSON, a plain text format) that contains:
- Your setup answers: the situation, the place of death, the state, your role, the disposition, and any optional answers you gave, such as the dates and the plan's name.
- Every sheet: contacts, decisions, papers, tasks, expenses, prices, benefits, the service plan, the notice, the notifications log and accounts, and your own wishes.
- Your progress: the checklist ticks and the chapters marked done.
- Your notes, highlights and bookmarks from the notes page.
The file opens only in this manual. Someone who receives it imports it on the same page, in their own browser. Importing replaces the sheets, setup and progress already in that browser; the page asks before it does, and asks whether to merge or replace notes. A person who has their own file in this manual should export theirs first.
The setup page's share link is different: it carries your setup answers only, not the sheets. Use it to let someone see the same tailored green boxes; use the export to hand over the work.
Who gets it
Read the file before you send it. It holds names and phone numbers of family and friends, prices, notes on what people said, and, on the wishes sheet, your own preferences. If you followed this manual, it holds no Social Security number, birth date or account number, because no sheet asks for one. Send it to the people who will act on it: the coordinator, the person who settles the estate, and a sibling or partner who shares the decisions. For someone who does not use a computer, print the whole file from the same page.
The file is a record, not a legal document. It is not a contract, a permit or proof of anyone's authority. Where a sheet records an answer from an agency, a court or a professional, the record is yours and the answer is theirs.
3. Your own wishes: decide, write down, hand over
Everything in this manual is also a plan for your own death, made ahead. If you are planning ahead, this section is where this manual leads. The FTC puts the starting point plainly: you can decide in advance without paying in advance (FTC, Planning Your Own Funeral, 2012). The National Institute on Aging lists the decisions: what kind of service and where, burial or cremation, what happens to the ashes, and any religious or cultural traditions to follow (NIA, Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist, 2023).
Decide, with this manual as the checklist
| Wishes sheet line | What to decide | Chapter |
|---|---|---|
| Arrangement | A funeral with the body present, direct burial, direct cremation, green burial, donation or another option | Burial, cremation and other choices |
| Burial, cremation or other, in your words | Embalming or not, a casket or container, anything your faith asks | Burial, cremation and other choices, Goods, prices and the statement |
| Place for burial or ashes | A plot you own, a national cemetery, scattering (with the owner's and the rules' permission), or "my family decides" | Burial, cremation and other choices |
| Service: form and where | A funeral, a memorial later, a graveside service, a gathering, or none; who leads it | The service or gathering |
| Faith or none | The tradition, and the leader or community to call first | Who decides, The service or gathering |
| Things I want, things I do not want | Music, readings, a notice or not, donations in place of flowers, a cost limit | The service or gathering, Notices and telling people |
| Who I want to decide | One person, asked first, and a second if the first cannot act | Who decides; this chapter |
| Where my papers are | The wishes, any contract or deed, discharge papers, policies, the will's location | Information and papers |
Two choices shape the rest: the disposition and the person who decides. If you write down only those two and where your papers are, the people left behind have the core of the plan. The rest helps them but can be left to them, and you can say so: "My family decides the service" is a clear wish. Your choice
Talk about it. Funeral Consumers Alliance's planning pamphlet starts with families talking at home about plans and costs, and ends by telling the likely survivors what was decided (FCA, Four-Step Funeral Planning). A written wish that surprises the family at the worst moment is harder to carry out than one they heard about years before.
Write it down and hand it over
The FTC, NIA and Funeral Consumers Alliance agree on the handling:
- Put it in writing and give copies to your family and, if you have one, your attorney (FTC; NIA).
- Not only in a will. The FTC says a will is often not found or read until after the funeral. FCA's pamphlet says not to put funeral plans in a will or a safe deposit box; this manual's default is to keep them on a separate sheet and, if you like, mention in the will that the sheet exists.
- Not only in a safe deposit box. The FTC says not to keep the only copy there. NIA says that if papers are in a safe deposit box, keep copies at home.
- Tell someone where your papers are. NIA suggests keeping important papers in one place and telling someone you trust, or a lawyer, where they are.
Print the wishes sheet, sign and date it, and give a copy to the person you want to decide and to one other person. Write on the sheet who has a copy. If you change it, give the new version to the same people and ask them to discard the old one.
Naming the person who decides
Without a written choice, state law sets the order of who decides, usually starting with a spouse, then adult children, then parents and siblings (Who decides). If the person you want is not first in that order, or there is no one in it you would choose, many states let you name a designated agent: a person with the legal right to make the arrangements for your body, named in a document that follows your state's rules (glossary). Three states show how the forms differ: Varies by state
- Washington (one state's statute). A person may control the disposition of their own remains, and a written document signed in the presence of a witness is sufficient. A designated agent named in a written, dated document signed before a witness comes ahead of a spouse and other relatives in the statute's order (RCW 68.50.160).
- New York (one state's form). The attorney general's guide says to use New York's "appointment of agent to control disposition of remains" form, or one like it, signed by you and the agent and witnessed by two people (New York Attorney General, Funeral Services).
- Hawaii (one state's form). Hawaii's consumer guide says the directions must be written, notarized and substantially follow the statutory form (Hawaii DCCA, Planning Ahead, 2026).
Funeral Consumers Alliance keeps a state-by-state summary of agent rules and next-of-kin order, labelled as its own compilation; confirm the statute it cites with your state's funeral board or an attorney (FCA, Assigning an Agent to Control Disposition). Some states attach the agent to a health care power of attorney; Iowa, per FCA, requires the agent form to be attached to one. FCA also notes that an agent is not obliged to carry out wishes that are impractical, illegal or financially burdensome, and suggests setting money aside for the plan.
Ask the person before you name them. Being named is a job: they may be the one calling funeral homes at night, holding a family together through a disagreement, and paying attention to a contract. Give them a copy of the wishes sheet and of the agent form, and tell the next person in your state's order that you have done it.
The wishes sheet records preferences. Whether it binds anyone depends on your state's law and on signing it the way that state requires; an agent form signed the wrong way may be only a wish. This manual does not draft legal documents, does not advise on prepaying, insurance or Medicaid, and does not cover health care directives or wills. Your state's own form, the state funeral board or an attorney settles whether a document is binding; an elder law attorney answers questions about prepaying and public benefits.
4. Planning without prepaying: questions to ask first
Preneed means arranging, and often paying for, a funeral or cemetery purchase before the death (glossary). Planning and paying are separate choices. The FTC says state law governs prepayment and that protections vary widely: some states require part of the money in a state-regulated trust or a life insurance policy assigned to the funeral home, and some states offer little or no effective protection (FTC, Planning Your Own Funeral). Varies by state Whether to prepay is your decision. This manual gives the questions; it does not recommend for or against.
The questions, before you sign
The FTC's list, with additions from three state regulators' guides:
- What exactly am I paying for? Merchandise only, such as a casket or vault, or the funeral home's services too (FTC). Hawaii's guide separates cemetery services, merchandise and funeral services.
- Where does the money go? Into a trust, an escrow account or an insurance policy, and can I get written proof of the deposit (FTC; Michigan)?
- Who keeps the interest if the money is in trust (FTC)?
- What protects me if the firm closes or is sold (FTC; Michigan; Hawaii)?
- Can I cancel and get a full refund? If not, how much comes back, and when (FTC)?
- What if I move, or die away from home? The FTC notes that a plan may transfer only at extra cost.
- Who is the seller, and are they licensed? Michigan requires sellers to register with its licensing department; Texas requires a Department of Banking permit and says not to contract with a seller who lacks one. Varies by state
- Am I being hurried? Michigan's attorney general lists feeling pressured as a reason to stop and talk to family or an advisor.
Michigan's guide suggests getting written confirmation of how your payment is protected, whether the price is locked, and whether the contract can be revoked, refunded, transferred and moved with you (Michigan Attorney General, Prepaid Funeral Contracts). Texas's banking regulator describes the two common kinds of contract and what each returns on cancellation (Texas Department of Banking, Prepaid Funeral Planning). Each guide is that state's rules; ask your own state's funeral board or attorney general what applies where you live.
If you do prepay, put the contract with the wishes sheet and tell the person who will decide where it is. A contract the family does not know about cannot help them; Texas's regulator and FCA both make this point.
Trust-funded and insurance-funded contracts, one state's rules. In Texas, a trust-funded contract cancelled by the buyer returns, in most cases, 90 percent of the payments plus half the interest for contracts made after September 1, 2001, and the contract itself does not transfer to another provider, though its cancellation value can be assigned. An insurance-funded contract is cancelled with its policy or annuity, and the buyer gets the cash surrender value, which the department says is most often less than the total paid; payments can also add up to more than the contract price. Texas guaranty funds cover a seller's or provider's default at no added cost to the buyer (Texas Department of Banking). Hawaii lists the payment routes a person might use: final expense insurance, pre-need insurance, a trust or payable-on-death savings account, and a cemetery pre-need contract, which a licensed cemetery must hold in trust.
Washington: survivors may not undo a prepaid plan. Washington's statute says prearrangements that are prepaid, or filed with a licensed funeral establishment or cemetery, may not be cancelled or substantially revised by survivors (RCW 68.50.160). In that state, a prepaid plan is firmer than a written wish.
Funeral Consumers Alliance's view, labelled as advocacy. FCA, a consumer advocacy group, says it is "usually not wise to pay ahead" and lists the drawbacks it sees: partial refunds, sellers keeping interest, costs outpacing the money set aside, survivors who do not know about the plan, and firms that close. It proposes a payable-on-death bank account naming a trusted person, not a funeral director, as an alternative, and names New York and New Jersey as the states whose laws come closest to its standard (FCA, Pre-Planning and Pre-Paying). That is one organization's position, not a neutral finding.
Medicaid and spend-down. FCA names one case where it sees prepaying as reasonable: a person spending down assets to qualify for Medicaid, since, FCA says, an irrevocable trust is excluded from the SSI and Medicaid asset tests. Asset rules and their exceptions are a question for an elder law attorney or the state Medicaid office. Ask the authority
5. Donation, veterans' eligibility, online accounts and review
Organ and body donation
Organ and tissue donation registration happens through your state. HRSA's organdonor.gov lists three ways: online through your state's registry, at the motor vehicle office, or in the Health app on an iPhone. Anyone over 18 can register, and in some states people aged 15 to 17. Registration serves as legal consent, and HRSA suggests sharing the decision with family (HRSA, How To Sign Up).
Whole-body donation to a medical school is separate, and there is no federal registry for it. FCA's pamphlet says to choose a nearby program and register with it directly; that institutions cannot accept a body if the next of kin object; that most programs cremate within about two years and bury or scatter the ashes, or return them as written wishes ask; and that some schools charge the family (FCA, Body, Organ and Brain Donation). Program rules differ, so name a second plan on the wishes sheet in case the program declines. Burial, cremation and other choices has the detail (Burial, cremation and other choices).
Veterans: eligibility decided ahead
A veteran, and some family members, can ask VA to decide eligibility for burial in a VA national cemetery before it is needed. VA's page says the application is only for before the time of need; after a death, the family schedules a burial instead. It covers VA national cemeteries, not Arlington or state, territory or tribal veterans cemeteries, which you contact directly. The application asks for military history and a preferred national cemetery, which VA does not promise; a copy of the DD214 discharge papers speeds it up. Apply online or by mail on VA Form 40-10007 (VA, Pre-need eligibility for burial in a VA cemetery, 2026). One program's rule The decision settles eligibility; it is not a reserved grave. Keep VA's letter with the wishes sheet and the DD214, and write on the sheet where both are.
Online accounts, planned ahead
After the service showed what a family can and cannot do with an account when no plan was made: no passwords, and sometimes a court order to get photos from a phone. Three platforms let you plan instead: Product-specific
- Google, Inactive Account Manager. Choose up to 10 people to be notified, and what data to share with them, after your account has been inactive for a period you set. They are told only after that period, not when you set it up (Google, About Inactive Account Manager).
- Apple, Legacy Contact. A Legacy Contact can get your photos, messages, notes, files and backups, but not purchased media or the iCloud Keychain, where passwords are kept. They need both the access key you give them and the death certificate. Apple suggests sharing the key by message or printing it and keeping it with your estate planning papers (Apple, How to add a Legacy Contact).
- Facebook, legacy contact or deletion. Meta's help center describes naming a legacy contact, who can manage a memorialized profile, write a pinned post and update photos but cannot log in or read messages, or choosing to have the account deleted after death.
List the accounts that matter on the wishes sheet's papers line, with the plan you set for each. Do not write passwords on the sheet; it is a file you export and share.
Review
Write a review date on the wishes sheet, and review the sheet after a major change: a move, a marriage or divorce, a death in the family, a new diagnosis, or a change in the person you named. NIA lists major life events as times to review (NIA). When you change it, date the new version and replace every copy you gave out.
How often. The FTC suggests reviewing your plans every few years (FTC). NIA suggests reviewing plans at least once a year as well as after major life events. The chapter asks for a date of your choosing plus the life events, since both sources name events and differ only on the interval. A yearly look takes five minutes if nothing has changed.
6. See it: Sam closes out, Imani writes hers See it
Sam closes out Ellen's file. Five weeks after Ellen Okoro's death in Spokane, the gathering at the lake is done. Sam Okoro goes through the arrangements file one evening with Dev Raman.
Known. The direct cremation is paid and the itemized statement is in the folder with both General Price Lists. The notifications log has every organization with a person; the five certified copies are matched to rows. The expense log shows what Sam, Dev and Carol Peck paid, with receipts.
Sam's close-out (fictional):
| Item | Sheet | Owner and date, or who answers it |
|---|---|---|
| Where to place Ellen's ashes | Decisions | Sam; talk again with Dev in a month, once the lake question is answered |
| Whether the ashes can be scattered at the lake | Decisions | Whoever owns the land or water, and the local rules; Sam calls the park's office |
| Life insurance search | Benefits | Sam, by the end of next week (Paying and benefits) |
| Credit union account, car title, mail forwarding, credit bureau | Notifications | Estate: an attorney or the county court's probate resources; Sam books a consultation |
| Ellen's final tax return | Notifications | Estate: a tax professional, once someone is appointed |
| Thank-you notes | Tasks | Sam and Dev, over the next two weeks |
| Hospice bereavement program | Notifications | Sam has the hospice's number; calls when ready |
Sam exports the file, sends it to Dev, and prints the notifications log, the expense log and the papers sheet for the attorney meeting.
Then Sam writes their own wishes. Sam is 34, has no siblings, has lost both parents (Ellen was widowed), and has watched how much easier Ellen's handwritten note made the first day. On the wishes sheet: direct cremation; no embalming; a gathering, not a funeral; ashes "where Mom's are, if that is allowed"; Dev Raman to decide; organ donor registration done online through the state that week. Sam sets Dev as Apple Legacy Contact and prints the access key for the folder, and sets up Google's Inactive Account Manager with Dev as the contact.
Assumed (fictional detail): Sam and Dev are not married and not state-registered domestic partners. Washington's statute puts a spouse or registered domestic partner, then adult children, parents and siblings, in the order of who decides. Sam has none of the others, so without a designation the statute's list, read on its face, does not reach Dev. Sam writes a dated statement naming Dev as designated agent and signs it with Carol Peck as witness.
Open, and who settles each: whether Sam's statement meets Washington's requirements for a designated agent (the funeral home Sam used, or an attorney; Sam asks at the estate consultation); whether the lake allows scattering (the land's owner and local rules). Copies go to Dev and to Carol. Review date: two years out, or sooner after a move.
Imani Brooks writes hers. Imani Brooks, 57, a physical therapist in Tacoma, Washington, starts her wishes after a friend's funeral. Her sister, Denise Brooks, 54, lives in Olympia.
Known. Imani's wishes so far: no embalming; natural organic reduction or a green burial; a celebration of life at her community garden; Denise to decide.
What she does in this chapter (fictional):
- Asks Denise first. Over dinner in Olympia, Imani asks whether Denise will be the one to decide. Denise agrees, with two requests: that Imani put her choices in order, so Denise knows what to do if the first is not available, and that Imani say where the money will come from. Imani writes "1. natural organic reduction; 2. green burial; 3. direct cremation" on the sheet.
- Names Denise in writing. Washington's statute puts a designated agent named in a written, dated document signed before a witness ahead of a spouse and other relatives. Imani writes and dates the designation, signs it before a neighbor, and gives Denise the original with a copy of the wishes sheet.
- Asks the prepaying questions before deciding anything. She calls one provider with the FTC's list and writes the answers on the sheet's notes. She learns from the Go deeper material that in Washington a prepaid prearrangement may not be cancelled or substantially revised by survivors; she notes it as a reason to think before she pays.
- Hands it over. Copies to Denise and to Imani's longtime friend; neither copy in a safe deposit box; the will she plans to write will say the wishes sheet exists.
Assumed. That Denise will be available and able to act; Imani names her friend as a second person to call if not. That the statute's description is the whole of Washington's requirement; Imani has not checked with an attorney.
Open, and who settles each.
- Which providers near Tacoma offer natural organic reduction, and at what price: calling providers (Funeral homes and your rights and Burial, cremation and other choices). This manual names none.
- Whether a Green Burial Council certified cemetery is within reach: the GBC's directory and a visit (Burial, cremation and other choices).
- Whether to prepay, set money aside or neither: Imani decides. This manual gives the questions and no advice.
- Whether her designation is binding as written: the Washington statute's terms, a funeral home or an attorney.
Free pages that show the same planning:
- FTC, Planning Your Own Funeral: the prepaying questions and the advice on copies, wills and safe deposit boxes.
- NIA, Getting Your Affairs in Order Checklist: the records to gather in one place and the funeral decisions to write down.
- FCA, Assigning an Agent to Control Disposition: a state-by-state compilation of agent rules, by a consumer group; confirm with your state.
- Hawaii DCCA, Planning Ahead: one state regulator's plain guide to cemetery and funeral purchases, payment options and naming a decision-maker.
7. Practice: close out and write your wishes Practice
Minimum: every open row with an owner and a date or "estate," one export sent, and the wishes sheet filled in for the arrangement, the disposition, the service and who decides, with one copy given. Time: about 30 minutes for the close-out and 60 for the wishes. Materials: the arrangements file, the arrangements file page, the wishes sheet, a printer or a pen, and your state's agent form if it has one.
If you are planning ahead and no one has died, skip the close-out and start at the wishes.
- Close out each sheet. In the order of the close-out table, give every open row a person and a date, or mark it "estate" with who answers it, or delete it as not applying.
- Put the receipts with the file. One folder: receipts, price lists, the itemized statement, any contract.
- Export and send. On the arrangements file page, export the file, read it through, and send it to the coordinator and the person who settles the estate. Print it for anyone who needs paper.
- Write your wishes. On the wishes sheet, fill in at least the arrangement, the disposition, the service and who you want to decide. Leave the rest blank or write "my family decides."
- Ask the person you want to decide. Before naming them, ask. Write their answer and any conditions in "Things I want."
- Find your state's agent form. Ask the state funeral board, or start from FCA's state list and confirm the statute. Fill it in and sign it the way the form says.
- Hand it over. Print, sign and date the wishes sheet. Give copies to the person who will decide and one other; write their names on the sheet; set a review date.
The planning-ahead extras. Register as an organ donor through your state, or with a body donation program. If you are a veteran, apply for VA pre-need eligibility. Set up a Google inactive account plan, an Apple Legacy Contact and a Facebook legacy contact, and note each on the sheet. If you are thinking about prepaying, take the eight questions to two providers and write down their answers before you decide.
8. Your arrangements Your arrangements
This box reads your setup: whether you are closing out after a death or writing your own wishes, your state, whether the person served, the disposition, the wishes you found and your role.
9. Check your work Check your work
Criteria
- Does every open row in every sheet have a person and a date, or "estate" with who answers it?
- Are the receipts, price lists and itemized statement kept together with the file?
- Has the file been exported, read through and sent to the people who will act on it?
- Does your wishes sheet name the arrangement, the disposition, the service and who should decide?
- Did you ask the person you named, and do they have a copy?
- Is a copy somewhere other than a will or a safe deposit box?
- If your state has an agent form, is it filled in and signed the way it requires, or is that on your list with a date?
- Is there a review date?
Worked example
Sam's close-out meets the criteria: every open item has an owner or an estate label, the folder holds the receipts and statement, and the export went to Dev. Sam's own wishes name the arrangement, the place, the service and the person, and copies are with Dev and Carol. One criterion is only partly met: Sam's designation of Dev is signed before a witness, but whether it meets Washington's requirements is an open question with a person and a date (the estate consultation). Imani's sheet meets the criteria once her copies are handed over; her open items, the providers and the prepaying decision, are hers to settle and are written down as such.
Common mistakes
- "Open" with no name. A row marked "to do" without a person is the row that is still open in a year.
- Sending the file without reading it. It holds other people's phone numbers and your notes. Read it, then choose who gets it.
- Wishes only in the will. The FTC says the will is often read after the funeral.
- Naming someone without asking. The person may not be able or willing to act, and an agent can decline wishes that are impractical or too costly, per FCA.
- Treating the wishes sheet as a legal document. It records preferences. The state's form, signed its way, is what the funeral home looks for.
- Prepaying before asking the questions. Refunds, transfers and protections depend on the state and the contract.
What is still unresolved
This chapter cannot say whether your designation or your wishes bind anyone, whether to prepay, how a prepaid plan or an account affects public benefits, or what your will should say. Your state's form and funeral board, an attorney, and an elder law attorney for benefits answer those. The estate questions handed on in After the service stay with the executor or administrator and the court.