Someone has died: the first day
The short route for the first day: who to call, what has to be decided now, what to have ready and what to hand to someone else. It works on a phone with no setup, in about ten minutes.
If you are not sure the person has died, or the death was sudden or unexpected, call 911 now. If you or someone with you is in crisis, call or text 988, any time.
Four parts, in order: contacts, decisions, information and hand-offs.
1. Contacts: the first call
The first call depends on where and how the person died. Find your situation:
- At home, with hospice
- At home, without hospice
- In a hospital, nursing home or care facility
- Sudden or unexpected
- Away from home, in another state
- Outside the US
At home, with hospice
Call the hospice's 24-hour number, not 911. The Hospice Foundation of America says families in this situation should not call emergency services. A hospice nurse comes to confirm the death, can call the funeral home you choose, and arranges for the equipment and the medicines. The number is usually in the hospice folder or on the fridge.
At home, without hospice
Call 911. Say what happened and follow the dispatcher's instructions.
In a hospital, nursing home or care facility
The staff confirm the death and handle the paperwork for it. They will ask which funeral home to call. Ask how long the person can stay before the facility needs them moved.
Sudden or unexpected
Call 911. Ask the dispatcher or the police before you move the person or anything near them. The medical examiner or coroner may need to investigate, and state law decides which deaths they review.
Away from home, in another US state
Make the call for the place where it happened (hospice, 911 or the facility). Then you have two common choices: a funeral home there forwards the person to a funeral home at home, or the cremation happens there and the ashes come home. Ask each home for its price.
Outside the US
Contact the nearest US embassy or consulate; consular staff answer 24 hours a day. From the US, the State Department's Office of Overseas Citizens Services is at 888-407-4747 or 202-501-4444, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern on weekdays; after hours, call 202-647-4000 and ask for the duty officer (CDC, importation of human remains).
If the person was a donor
Say so to whoever answers the first call. In a hospital, the staff call the organ procurement organization. A whole-body donation program or a brain bank needs a call at once, because programs set short time limits.
Then call one person to come and be with you. There is no need to move the person right away after an expected death at home (National Institute on Aging). Write each call, with the time, on the calls sheet. More: The first hours.
2. Decisions: what cannot wait
- Now Who decides. Written directions from the person come first where the state honors them; then a named agent; then next of kin in an order set by state law, often a spouse, then adult children, then parents. If you are not sure it is you, find out before you sign.
- Now Care of the body and the provider. Choose who takes the person into their care. Ask what the state and the provider require about refrigeration and timing.
- Now Faith timing. If the family keeps a tradition with its own timing, call its leader before you sign anything.
- This week Burial, cremation or another choice, and which provider, after you compare prices.
- This week A funeral with the body present: its date and place, and the notice. The provider keeps the body until the service, so set the date with the provider as soon as you choose this route, around refrigeration and any faith timing. The notice carries the date and place, so it follows.
- Later A memorial after a direct cremation or direct burial: the service and the obituary. The memorial can be held weeks later, and the obituary follows its plan.
- Later The marker, the ashes and the thank-yous, on either route.
Embalming is not required by law except in special cases, and a funeral provider needs permission before embalming; you can say no at the first call. You can get prices by phone without giving your name, and you can ask for the General Price List before you sign or pay anything (FTC, the Funeral Rule). Write each decision as now, this week or later on the decisions sheet. More: Who decides.
3. Information: what to have ready
The funeral director will ask for the facts on the death certificate: full legal name and other names used, address, Social Security number, date and place of birth, parents' names, marital status and the spouse's name, education, occupation, and military service. Give the numbers to the funeral director directly; do not type them into this site or send them by text.
Look for these papers today or tomorrow: written wishes or a prepaid funeral contract, cemetery papers, and discharge papers (DD214) if the person served. If you find a will, give it to the person named as executor; it is not usually read for funeral instructions. Mark what you have and what someone is finding on the information sheet. More: Information and papers.
4. Hand-offs: three jobs to give away today
- A coordinator. One person keeps the list, answers the phone and passes on questions, so the person who decides is asked less.
- The calls. Split the people to tell among two or three callers, closest people first.
- The house. If the person lived alone, lock the home and the car and put away keys, cash and jewelry. Someone takes the pets, the mail and the fridge.
Write each job with a name and a day on the task list, and start the expense log with the first receipt. More: Sharing the work.
This page sorts the first day; it does not decide whether a death must be reported, who holds the legal right to decide in a dispute, or what your state requires. The dispatcher or police, the medical examiner or coroner, the funeral director and your state funeral board answer those. Everything you type in the sheets stays in this browser.